Why I like being a girl

[austin_tycho]

And this is not meant as a slam on any non-girls, or girls who have a non-girl style of communication. This post is a result of several things, including a TLC show on the difference between the sexes.

Men often complain that women's communication is dishonest. "Ooh, your hair looks great!" when it looks terrible, is a common example. I will answer this question honestly if I think the person is really looking for an honest answer, or if I could prevent her pain/embarrassment by being honest. Many times, the case when a woman asks a question like that, they really mean "I am doing this, the decision is already made, I am happy about it, and I want to share." I don't think it's inherently evil to be happy with your friend, even if she's done something that you wouldn't do. As long as she's not at risk. It takes some social skills and empathy to tell the difference. Girls tend to be better at this, though hub has gotten pretty good at it. Damn, I don't think I'm making sense.

I guess this is because I was on a chat board and mentioned my DMB cd. Someone was quick to jump in and say "I don't like DMB." Now, while it's fine that they don't, it was still kind of a poopy thing to do. I was not telling everyone that they should go out and buy it, or claiming that anyone who did not like it was a moron. I was just reveling in my enjoyment. To me, a true friend (or hell, a polite person) who did not like DMB would say "Cool! Good for you! I love it when I get a cd I love, like this [name of band] cd I got here." Same, in fact, more information transmitted- but in a much more socially lubricated way. No one needs to pee in my cornflakes to state their opinion.

These are the same people that mistake honesty for rudeness. "I'm too honest for people; if they can't take it, tough shit!" It's not your honesty that annoys me, it's your assholery.

Oh, hell. I've had too much caffeine.

Comments

[nysidra.livejournal.com]

"No one needs to pee in my cornflakes to state their opinion"

Not only did I understand what you were saying, but I agree.

And as to the above phrase, very graphic, I love it.

[mielikki.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[takarosa.livejournal.com]

These are the same people that mistake honesty for rudeness. "I'm too honest for people; if they can't take it, tough shit!" It's not your honesty that annoys me, it's your assholery.

Sing it, sistah! This attitude is way overdone and I want no part of it. You've labelled it well.

[mielikki.livejournal.com]

(inset singing noise here) Thank you. That, and the 'rebelling for the sake of rebellion' tudes really chap my hide sometimes.

[starcrossedlady.livejournal.com]

My local paper (aka the rag) had an article on how women's brains are wired differently then mens... YMMV as to how much relevance you want to put into that :)

as far as politeness and how people equate rudeness with "honesty": I think consideration and empathy are starting to become lost arts. The more people seem to draw into themselves, and isolate their lives from communities, the less they see how their behavior can affect others. :::shrug::: my own theory... if you see yourself as part of a greater whole (not like the borg, but... well, more benign?), then you want to treat others with a bit more respect and caring, cause it all comes back. maybe not entirely, but it does.

[mielikki.livejournal.com]

It's not Borgian at all- it's having the maturity to realize that your way of thinking is different from other people's, and that doesn't make them 'wrong'. If anything, it's anti-Borgian, because it's allowing for differences as opposed to arrogantly assuming that everyone is like you, or should be like you.

This TLC special showed where a woman took a bunch of pscyh tests, then took testosterone for 6 months. S/he became better at math and spatial stuff, worse at vocabulary. The shrink said her psych profile went from looking like a 'typical female' to a 'typical male.' She was surprised at how much it changed her/his way of thinking, assuming (as I tend to) that gender behaviors are largely societal. S/he even said there were times when s/he wanted to cry, but found it much more difficult to.

[starcrossedlady.livejournal.com]

ooo... sounds like I need to watch it. Luckily, since it's on TLC, it'll get rerun a few more times ;)

[lisado.livejournal.com]

And then there are those of us who just profess our utter ignorance of the man's work. Perhaps my friends at the local library can help me out with that.

Re:

[mielikki.livejournal.com]

Oh, whether you actually like him is beside the point- however, if you're curious, I'd be happy to burn you a cd with some of my faves. I was thinking of doing that for my mom anyway.