![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I have been depressed for the last few days. I know I'm stating the obvious when I say being depressed sucks. I got out of work early yesterday so that I could help with a candlemaking class at my place, and while on the surface I felt like I was enjoying myself, after it was over I was exhausted, and I seemed to be blowing minor irritating events out of proportion. Being around all these people in my house drained me to the dregs, and I just wanted to collapse on the couch and whine. Being introverted sucks sometimes. Guess I should up my SJW dose.
I notice that these depressive episodes seem to happen around the same time I start to have real issues with my weight. I don't know which is the cause and which is the effect, but I've been fretting over it more than usual (don't weigh myself much; I got weighed at the doctor's office last week though). I did have a minor breakthrough on the edge of sleep the other morning when I realized that there was a very critical voice in my noggin that was berating me, calling me lazy, etc. and another voice intruded yelling "That all may be true, but do you realize that YOU ARE NOT HELPING! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PISS OFF! However we fix this, it will NOT be by using shame and insults as 'motivation'!"
The much-anticipated cool front arrived. It's cruel that by the time my work week has ended it will have warmed up already, and if I had a decent amount of sick leave I would so be home right now. The whipping boy in my head told me that this was my punishment for all those nice days a few weeks ago that I spent screwing around on the Internet when I could have been outside, and now it's just gonna be hot and mosquitoey for the next 4-5 months. Bleh. I need to round up some of these people in my head and beat the shit out of them.
I notice that these depressive episodes seem to happen around the same time I start to have real issues with my weight. I don't know which is the cause and which is the effect, but I've been fretting over it more than usual (don't weigh myself much; I got weighed at the doctor's office last week though). I did have a minor breakthrough on the edge of sleep the other morning when I realized that there was a very critical voice in my noggin that was berating me, calling me lazy, etc. and another voice intruded yelling "That all may be true, but do you realize that YOU ARE NOT HELPING! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND PISS OFF! However we fix this, it will NOT be by using shame and insults as 'motivation'!"
The much-anticipated cool front arrived. It's cruel that by the time my work week has ended it will have warmed up already, and if I had a decent amount of sick leave I would so be home right now. The whipping boy in my head told me that this was my punishment for all those nice days a few weeks ago that I spent screwing around on the Internet when I could have been outside, and now it's just gonna be hot and mosquitoey for the next 4-5 months. Bleh. I need to round up some of these people in my head and beat the shit out of them.
