austin_tycho | Oh yais, yais!

"Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean."

Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest 2006 Results

Faves:

Purple Prose Dishonorable Mentions:

It had been a dark and stormy night, but as dawn began to light up the eastern sky, to the west the heavens suddenly cleared, unveiling a pale harvest moon that reposed gently atop the distant mesa like a pumpkin on a toilet with the lid down.
Gerald R. Johnson
Vancouver, WA

Words cannot describe the exquisite loveliness of the brilliant azure sky with its cerulean striations of periwinkle, cornflower, and cyan.
Mary Barberio
Northville, MI

Western Runner-Up:

Butch glared balefully across the saloon at Tex, who had been stone dead since the scorpion he had unwittingly sat on had bitten him on the butt some half an hour or so ago, little suspecting that this was going to be his toughest staring contest since the one against old Glass-eyed Juan, during the great sand-storm of '42, at the height of the Arizona conjunctivitis epidemic.
Geoff Blackwell
Bundaberg QLD Australia

Miscellaneous Dishonorable Mentions:

Kathy, who had bound her breasts and cropped her hair, and lied about her gender to join a monastery of Jesuits in northern Kentucky, until she was discovered one night in the shower, winced as the dentist pulled her tooth.
Terry Johnson
Tularosa, NM

The day was like any other, except that this was a Wednesday so it was really only like 1/7th of the other days.
Randy Wilson
New Albany, IN