![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Jokes, jokes, jokes! All from SDMB.
Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One atom seems fine, but the other atom is obviously shaken up.
"Are you all right?" asks the one atom solicitously.
"No!" cries the other atom, looking about frantically. "I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
*****
Rene Descartes walks into a bar, orders a beer, and drinks it at a gulp.
"Would you like another?" asks the bartender.
Descartes considers the question. "I think not," he says, and disappears.
*****
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
And the monk gets his hot dog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor just puts it in his pocket, so the monk says, "Hey, where's my change?"
The hot dog vendor says, "Change comes from within."
*****
A businessman arriving in Boston for a convention found that his first evening was free, and he decided to go find a good seafood restaurant that served Scrod, a Massachusetts specialty. Getting into a taxi, he asked the cab driver, "Do you know where a guy can get Scrod around here?" "Man," said the cabdriver. "I've heard that question so many times, and asked in so many different ways but I can tell you I've never heard someone use the past pluperfect subjunctive!"
*****
3 statisticians are out bowhunting. They spot a deer. The first one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the right of the deer. The second one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the left of the deer. The third one says, "We got him!"
*****
Three mathematicians are riding on a train through England. They look out the window and see a black sheep.
"Ah," says the first. "In England, some sheep are black."
"Untrue, my friend," retorts the second. "In England, at least one sheep is black."
"My imprecise colleagues," says the third, "In England, there exists at least one sheep that is black on at least one side."
*****
Mrs. Schrödinger walks up to her husband. "Erwin," she asks, "what have you done to the cat? It looks half dead!"
*****
A Roman centurion walks into a bar.
Centurion: I'll have a Martinus, please.
Barman: You mean Martini?
Centurion: If I'd wanted a double I'd have asked for one.
Enough for now. I go home!
Two atoms are walking down the street when they bump into each other. One atom seems fine, but the other atom is obviously shaken up.
"Are you all right?" asks the one atom solicitously.
"No!" cries the other atom, looking about frantically. "I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?"
"I'm positive!"
*****
Rene Descartes walks into a bar, orders a beer, and drinks it at a gulp.
"Would you like another?" asks the bartender.
Descartes considers the question. "I think not," he says, and disappears.
*****
What did the Buddhist monk say to the hot dog vendor?
"Make me one with everything."
And the monk gets his hot dog and gives the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor just puts it in his pocket, so the monk says, "Hey, where's my change?"
The hot dog vendor says, "Change comes from within."
*****
A businessman arriving in Boston for a convention found that his first evening was free, and he decided to go find a good seafood restaurant that served Scrod, a Massachusetts specialty. Getting into a taxi, he asked the cab driver, "Do you know where a guy can get Scrod around here?" "Man," said the cabdriver. "I've heard that question so many times, and asked in so many different ways but I can tell you I've never heard someone use the past pluperfect subjunctive!"
*****
3 statisticians are out bowhunting. They spot a deer. The first one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the right of the deer. The second one shoots, and his arrow lands 3 feet to the left of the deer. The third one says, "We got him!"
*****
Three mathematicians are riding on a train through England. They look out the window and see a black sheep.
"Ah," says the first. "In England, some sheep are black."
"Untrue, my friend," retorts the second. "In England, at least one sheep is black."
"My imprecise colleagues," says the third, "In England, there exists at least one sheep that is black on at least one side."
*****
Mrs. Schrödinger walks up to her husband. "Erwin," she asks, "what have you done to the cat? It looks half dead!"
*****
A Roman centurion walks into a bar.
Centurion: I'll have a Martinus, please.
Barman: You mean Martini?
Centurion: If I'd wanted a double I'd have asked for one.
Enough for now. I go home!
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: Apr. 2nd, 2002 05:42 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Good ones, all of them. I approve. I'll have to remember that second part of the buddhist and the hotdog. Yea gods, these are bad. :-)
no subject
Date: Apr. 2nd, 2002 09:02 pm (UTC)From: