(no subject)

[austin_tycho]

Happy August, everyone. I don't know about where you live, but where I live it's still really, really hot. It will still be really, really hot for another 6 weeks to two months. However, the light takes on a different quality. So you can look at the way the light falls in the late afternoon and even though it may be a hundred degrees (or more commonly referenced as a hundred freaking degrees) you can imagine fall might someday come around.

The Daily OM was keen. I've fallen into the trap (and seen others do it) where if I start off doing something, and change my mind then I wonder if all that effort spent previously was pointless. I see this with my Wiccan students sometimes. They'll get into the classes, which is not an easy one-step process, and will go a few times and realize that it's not what they want. Depending on how self-aware they are, they might shrug and go "oh, that wasn't what I wanted. I will drop out of the classes and keep looking." Or they might sulk in class and complain to the other students and show up late and create a scenario in their heads where I somehow deceived them or let them down, and be bitter and crabby about it. As you can guess, I don't see a lot of sense in option two, but it happens. So I try to tell the students more than once "this may end up not being what you're after. But it's not wasted time, because now you have a better idea of what you are after, and I may even be able to point you toward it if you let me know."

Now, another challenge is to realize that in many cases, when I start doing something and have to stop due to reasons outside of my control (the other person didn't want to be in the relationship any longer, is the thing that most immediately comes to mind) that that effort spent previously wasn't wasted either. I remember that being one of my biggest complaints after the evil ex and I split up... "There goes 5 years of my life, wasted!" I know that isn't true, but it sure felt that way at the time.

August 1, 2005
Living Exploration
Discovering What You Want Through Experience

The road to knowing what you want is often paved with many moments of learning what you don't want. This holds true in all areas of life, from work to love. Knowing and accepting this can give us the courage to keep moving forward when we might otherwise paralyze ourselves with fear of making a wrong move.

All too often, we expect ourselves to know in advance what will or won't work. But this would be like accepting an invitation with a new dance partner only if we are sure, before dancing with them, that we will want to dance with them forever. We need to accept the invitation without knowing where it will lead us. When we accept the invitation, what we are committing to is exploration.

It helps to remember that choices and decisions are not permanent or final actions. They are just the first steps in an unfolding process of inquiry. Many people go to school for one thing and end up in a completely different career path. This does not mean that they made a mistake by studying English Literature and then becoming a nurse. One thing leads to another in ways we can't always foresee.

Try to remain open and curious all along the way, asking questions. How does this feel? How could it be better? What changes can be made to improve the situation? With each modification, you move closer to creating exactly what you want. But remember, sometimes we need to experience what we don't want to determine what we do want.

Comments

[woodowl.livejournal.com]

"this may end up not being what you're after. But it's not wasted time, because now you have a better idea of what you are after, and I may even be able to point you toward it if you let me know."

That's exactly how I feel. I heard somewhere that 90% of college students change their major before they finish, but the classes they took on the way weren't a waste of time if they were still learning something. I never see any learning as a waste of time. You never can tell what you might need down the road in life.

[hippiedreambox.livejournal.com]

"Amen" from the barely-tone section. There's no way to be one-hundred percent sure in advance (unless you manufacture Diebold voting machines). If it feels right, take the leap. Sometimes it's meant to be forever, sometimes not. For those times when it's not, I would much rather see people be happy than forever frustrated and full of resentment.