austin_tycho | (no subject)

Picture, if you will:

We're having Thanksgiving here. This in an effort to make the holidays less of a grinding, soul-sucking hell for my husband who gets to show off his cooking skills. So I'm inviting people left and right, people who might be at loose ends, my family, blah blah. Tonight I ask him if he's invited any of his family. He says 'yeah, my sister.' OK, his sister has a husband who has recently gained cutody of an 8 year old boy, and I know Eric loathes children.

'Ah, so what about Caleb?' (the boy), I inquire.

'We'll hook up his Playstation to the other TV.'

'The other TV?'

'The one in our bedroom' (said in the 'well, duh' voice)

'Umm... the one with the coat rack full of S&M equipment, the copious hentai collection next to the VCR, the dildoes in the closet, and the bookshelves overflowing with books about S&M, the occult, and aquarium maintenance?'

'You forgot the one on anal sex,' he reminded.

We then spent the next several minutes trying to come up with the most horrifying scenario involving Caleb running downstairs and... something. Wearing the strap-on on his head, wondering why there are no tentacle sex monsters in 'Dragonball Z', et cetera.

We have decided to have the Playstation on the downstairs TV, which will keep people from watching football anyway.

I'm glad I'm fixed; have I mentioned that lately?