(no subject)

Bean came over and squished on me, though the effectiveness of said squishing was somewhat lessened because of some stupid telephone melodrama I got stuck dealing with. Bleh. Despite the melodrama, it was some excellent squishing. It definitely helped, though I'm still trying to figure out where this is coming from. I've always held my emotional tension in my neck and shoulder area- I remember my French horn teacher back when I must have been 10 or 12 pointing out that I scrunched my shoulders up when I was playing an especially challenging piece of music. So, while there has been some tension over some things, things have not really been remarkably stressful around here (comparatively) so I'm wondering why I'm in such pain now. It seems to be at it's worst when I wake up in the morning.

This morning, I had a very disturbing dream where my brother and I were trying to sneak my mother out of the house while my dad was asleep because she was afraid for her life due to his abusiveness. Note that nothing like this ever happened to me; he was a sneaky philanderer, but he was never physically abusive. I think this is a result of bits of stories from 3-4 of my friends getting pasted together the way it happens in dreams sometimes. Anyway, it was quite the Lifetime movie of the week- including fumbling to get the car started after he awoke and came storming out of the house when he figured out what was going on and driving off as he was charging at the car. I woke up with excruciating pain shooting through my neck and shoulders, which were practically up around my ears. What sort of subconscious shit is going on? I hate knowing that stuff's going on but not being in on the secret, especially when I'm apparently keeping it from myself. Anyway I'll be scheduling some more chiro visits.