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So I went with hub and Gordon to see the Dildo Diaries. Due to circumstances beyond our control, we showed up about 10 minutes late but it was OK since they had not started the movie. The local GLBT campus group was showing it, and they had a bunch of announcements or something. So it was all good. The movie- wow! I think Molly Ivins is the coolest person, and I have quite a lot of respect for some of our government people who took the brave stand for sex toys in a conservative state. They had film of the session when this was being debated, too. Some old crusty white dude was talking about how evil anal sex is, and had added an amendment to some other conduct law to make it illegal for homosexuals to do basically anything but specifically anal sex. Someone pointed out that this would make it unconstitutional, so he added another amendment to make it illegal for everyone. He said anyone caught in his county doing anything like that would probably be hung, and moved that it be made a felony offense.
Female law-making person: So if this is something that occurs between a man and a woman it should be a felony?
Crusty old fart: Yes.
FLP: Even if they are husband and wife?
COF: Yes.
FLP: Let me put this on me, to save you embarrassment. So you're saying, if I am having sexual intercourse with my husband, and he penetrates my anus with his penis, that I should turn myself in as a felon?
COF: Yes.
FPL: Even if he slips?
(all the other law-making people by this point are busting out laughing, except COF)
Now, it's my understanding that homosexual conduct of any kind is still illegal in Texas, but hetero couples can do whatever they want. So I'm thinking this changed somewhere, I'll have to look it up.
Now, dildoes. In Texas dildoes are illegal to sell. You can sell things that look exactly like dildoes if you call them education devices. Vibrators can also be sold if you refer to them as personal massagers. There was an embarrassing (for me as a Texan) clip of a woman in a sex toy shop explaining how no, they didn't sell dildoes but look at this large glass case full of educational devices, and all like that. Personal massagers cannot look like penii, therefore they have faces on them and attachments that look like rabbits or bears or octopii. Oddly, butt plugs are OK. The cameralady in the clip pointed to them in aforementioned glass case.
Cameralady: What are those?
Store lady: Those are butt plugs.
CL: What are they for?
SL: You stick them in your butt.
CL: (stunned silence)
SL: Butt plugs are legal in Texas.
Oh! Of course! Penii can't go in there, but pointy rubber things can. As long as they're butt plugs, and not dildoes, because dildoes are obscene.
Anyway, in this great state dildoes are illegal to sell, but they're OK to own, as long as you don't own too many of them. If you have more than five dildoes, you show 'intent to distribute' and are breaking the law. I'm not sure how sex toy stores get around this, perhaps it's the 'education device' thing- these laws make less sense the more I think about them, but there was footage of a local store here in Austin (Forbidden Fruit) getting raided by the police. If you own five or less dildoes, you are, in the words of Molly Ivins, a hobbyist and safe from police.
Let's just take it as a given that I've gone on a rant about how invasive, fucked up and immoral it is that the Texas legislature thinks it has any business deciding who I boff or what I stick in my orifices or how many orifice-sticking-in devices I have. After the movie the filmmakers answered some Q&A and introduced several people to the audience, including one of the Texas legislators in the film. She did some grand-standing, but she is a politician after all and possesses great courage. I wish I could remember her name! OK, the computer knows all- it's Representative Senfronia Thompson from Houston. Go, her!
After the movie we went to Players, a hamburger joint near campus. It brought back a lot of memories from when I was a student, and driving around campus brought back even more. I miss being a college student. There are aspects I'm glad to be rid of, but getting a check twice a year in order to learn stuff was really pretty cool. And the UT campus is beautiful, and even more leftish in beliefs (generally) than Austin, even. Being around all the GLBT young'uns and feeling them getting fired up to do something about the stupid laws (even if what they ended up doing was probably going to be ineffective and silly) was a blast from the past, and quite a charge too. There was always something to do in college. It may have been silly, but it always seemed that what you did was filled with Great Import. Ah, well.
Female law-making person: So if this is something that occurs between a man and a woman it should be a felony?
Crusty old fart: Yes.
FLP: Even if they are husband and wife?
COF: Yes.
FLP: Let me put this on me, to save you embarrassment. So you're saying, if I am having sexual intercourse with my husband, and he penetrates my anus with his penis, that I should turn myself in as a felon?
COF: Yes.
FPL: Even if he slips?
(all the other law-making people by this point are busting out laughing, except COF)
Now, it's my understanding that homosexual conduct of any kind is still illegal in Texas, but hetero couples can do whatever they want. So I'm thinking this changed somewhere, I'll have to look it up.
Now, dildoes. In Texas dildoes are illegal to sell. You can sell things that look exactly like dildoes if you call them education devices. Vibrators can also be sold if you refer to them as personal massagers. There was an embarrassing (for me as a Texan) clip of a woman in a sex toy shop explaining how no, they didn't sell dildoes but look at this large glass case full of educational devices, and all like that. Personal massagers cannot look like penii, therefore they have faces on them and attachments that look like rabbits or bears or octopii. Oddly, butt plugs are OK. The cameralady in the clip pointed to them in aforementioned glass case.
Cameralady: What are those?
Store lady: Those are butt plugs.
CL: What are they for?
SL: You stick them in your butt.
CL: (stunned silence)
SL: Butt plugs are legal in Texas.
Oh! Of course! Penii can't go in there, but pointy rubber things can. As long as they're butt plugs, and not dildoes, because dildoes are obscene.
Anyway, in this great state dildoes are illegal to sell, but they're OK to own, as long as you don't own too many of them. If you have more than five dildoes, you show 'intent to distribute' and are breaking the law. I'm not sure how sex toy stores get around this, perhaps it's the 'education device' thing- these laws make less sense the more I think about them, but there was footage of a local store here in Austin (Forbidden Fruit) getting raided by the police. If you own five or less dildoes, you are, in the words of Molly Ivins, a hobbyist and safe from police.
Let's just take it as a given that I've gone on a rant about how invasive, fucked up and immoral it is that the Texas legislature thinks it has any business deciding who I boff or what I stick in my orifices or how many orifice-sticking-in devices I have. After the movie the filmmakers answered some Q&A and introduced several people to the audience, including one of the Texas legislators in the film. She did some grand-standing, but she is a politician after all and possesses great courage. I wish I could remember her name! OK, the computer knows all- it's Representative Senfronia Thompson from Houston. Go, her!
After the movie we went to Players, a hamburger joint near campus. It brought back a lot of memories from when I was a student, and driving around campus brought back even more. I miss being a college student. There are aspects I'm glad to be rid of, but getting a check twice a year in order to learn stuff was really pretty cool. And the UT campus is beautiful, and even more leftish in beliefs (generally) than Austin, even. Being around all the GLBT young'uns and feeling them getting fired up to do something about the stupid laws (even if what they ended up doing was probably going to be ineffective and silly) was a blast from the past, and quite a charge too. There was always something to do in college. It may have been silly, but it always seemed that what you did was filled with Great Import. Ah, well.
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no subject
Date: Apr. 9th, 2003 11:43 am (UTC)From:On my last trip back to Austin I had lunch at Players with my ex-roomie from college... definitely a nostalgia moment.
PS: I'm coming back tO Austin for the alt.Beltaine rec plant campout. Hope to see you there or at least have lunch sometime over that long weekend.
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Date: Apr. 9th, 2003 11:59 am (UTC)From:I'm not sure when that camp-out is; I'm going to FLipside so that's my camp-out allotment for the season. But let me know what days you'll be here and we'll definitely meet up!
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Date: Apr. 9th, 2003 12:02 pm (UTC)From: