austin_tycho | (no subject)

Johnny, double-check your plugs
and charge your batteries,
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Rock Band
and the devil's brought his WII.
And if you win, you get a shiny gold guitar control,
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul...

The devil trolled the forums, he was looking for some game –
He was in a fix, 'cause Harmonix was poaching on his claim.
When he read a post by Jon69 bragging 'bout the highest score around,
Four hundred thousand and three on Toxicity, by System of a Down.
The devil posted "Johnny, you got a damn fine score,
But sure as my name’s Lucifer, I'd get 50,000 more.
I've got a gold guitar that says I'll win, to show I'm not a choad—
You lose, I get your soul. I'll let you play in Easy mode."
Jonny replied, "LOL Satan, that's a crappy bet for you –
Bring that guitar to Austin, make sure it fits a Playstation 2."

Johnny, double-check your plugs
and charge your batteries,
'Cause Hell's broke loose in Rock Band
and the devil's brought his WII.
And if you win, you get a shiny gold guitar control,
But if you lose, the Devil gets your soul...

The devil set up his control, and said, "Let's start this right--"
Demons took guitar and drums, with Kirt Cobain on mic.
He plugged in his bass guitar and all the lights went dark,
His score turned to a blur, his WII coughed smoke and sparks--

[Insert some high points from Coheed and Cambria's "Welcome Home" here. If there are any.]

When the Devil finished, Johnny said, "Not bad, but kinda gay.
You just sit down, this is MY round--let me show you how to play."

And he sang, "I pledge allegiance…To the United States of..TIMMAAAAAAAH!!!!"

The devil muttered "Fuck," because he knew that he'd been p0wn’d--
He dumped that shiny gold guitar in front of Johnny's throne.
Johnny said, "Hey, Satan, come back whenever, next time I'll buy the brew—
And bring some golden drums, and a diamond mic, 'cause I just got Rock Band II!"

And he sang, "TIMMAAAH! Timmy living a lie!!!!"

(from