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I finally went and got a haircut. Anyone who's seen my hair knows that it's very curly, and gets quite bushy if I let it grow unchecked. But I just don't want to mess with it any more than brushing it out when I wake up in the morning. No gels, mousse, hair dryers, or anything like that. So I have the same cut I've had since I was about 12- a simple layer. It's amazing how someone at Supercuts can screw it up, though- but I lucked out this time, it looks even, which is all I really ask for. Yay!
We watched 'Code Blue', one of those real-life ER shows. I didn't intend to, but it was on after 'Trading Spaces' and I didn't turn the TV off quickly enough and I was sucked in. One fellow came in with a hand that had gotten stuck in a fan belt; another had been on his motorcycle and was hit by a car. That one ended up in a coma for weeks despite wearing a helmet. Then they brought in 4 kids that were in a roll-over, and I watched as 2 of them were declared dead.
It really messed with my head. I'm not sure why, but I've become increasingly afraid of dying in the last few months. I don't want to leave. Something that one of the ER doctors said really stuck with me- "No one wakes up in the morning and thinks that they'll be in here today." Seeing all these people, some of who ended up dead, getting dragged in, their families crying and parsing out their organs, was just really, really alarming. They go from being vital, growing, petty, dreaming, scheming, loving, complaining, living people to being just so much meat on a slab. Yow. It made me think; I could wake up tomorrow and get creamed on my way to work, and all I am and have thought and said and done will just be gone. I think I will go on to somewhere, but even if I do "I" won't, the me that I am will be gone forever. It really makes me uncomfortable to think about that in any depth.
We watched 'Code Blue', one of those real-life ER shows. I didn't intend to, but it was on after 'Trading Spaces' and I didn't turn the TV off quickly enough and I was sucked in. One fellow came in with a hand that had gotten stuck in a fan belt; another had been on his motorcycle and was hit by a car. That one ended up in a coma for weeks despite wearing a helmet. Then they brought in 4 kids that were in a roll-over, and I watched as 2 of them were declared dead.
It really messed with my head. I'm not sure why, but I've become increasingly afraid of dying in the last few months. I don't want to leave. Something that one of the ER doctors said really stuck with me- "No one wakes up in the morning and thinks that they'll be in here today." Seeing all these people, some of who ended up dead, getting dragged in, their families crying and parsing out their organs, was just really, really alarming. They go from being vital, growing, petty, dreaming, scheming, loving, complaining, living people to being just so much meat on a slab. Yow. It made me think; I could wake up tomorrow and get creamed on my way to work, and all I am and have thought and said and done will just be gone. I think I will go on to somewhere, but even if I do "I" won't, the me that I am will be gone forever. It really makes me uncomfortable to think about that in any depth.
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Date: Sep. 9th, 2002 02:30 pm (UTC)From: