Christmas

I was let off an hour early, and we were able to get on the road with plenty of daylight left. Mom lives in Bryan, about 2 hours from here. We can usually make it faster, but we've been pulled over on that trip before and Eric wanted to be especially careful since there would probably be lots of cops out due to the holidays.

There was still a bit of light in the sky as I arrived. For some reason that made me feel better; pulling up somewhere in total darkness feels like it could be midnight as easily as 7pm to me. Then we began a comical string of failed dexterity checks. Eric lifted the crock pot I'd asked him to pack for wassail out of the trunk and the lid promptly slid off and shattered in the parking lot. I grabbed a big box of stuff, with a box of ornaments on the top, which flipped out and smacked on the ground (miraculously, no ornaments were harmed in the making of this farce). When I was pulling something out of the fridge a pot of barbecuey stuff fell out, slopping barbecue sauce all over the bottom shelf and the floor in front of the fridge. Blech. But we got things cooking in time for my brother to eat while he watched us unwrap presents. He had to be to work the next day, so he was planning to leave as soon as he'd greeted us.

Mom gave us the usual assortment of candy that she likes to give (chocolate orange, chocolate covered cherries, candy bars, etc.- yeah, we show our love with food, what of it?!) that I hope to stretch out for at least a month or two. Bro got me a few cool little trinkety things like a tiny flashlight that you clip to your keychain that had a very bright blue LED. Plus a gift certificate to Home Depot! He liked the rainbowy candle I got him, and I promised to make him one with the bear flag on it later.

Mom went overboard as usual- I've been trying very hard to help her realize that I know she loves me even without giving me so much stuff, but she does not make any effort to change. The base materialistic part of me enjoys getting stuff, so I can't fake indifference when I open a package to reveal something I love- so for lack of any better ideas I'm going to quit fighting it. But I'm trying to lead by example and just give her a few home made things, which she loves. She got me a Galileo thermometer- I've always wanted one of those. She also got me some clothes, including a black velvet dress which she swears I pointed out to her in a catalog, but I have no idea what I am going to do with a formal, long sleeve velvet dress. Wear it around the house while I'm filling the bird feeders and pretend I'm a decadent millionaire, I guess. Then I got a gift certificate to the local witchy store. Yay! Bro had left, so we ate dinner, talked for awhile, and went to bed.

Post-Christmas

To survive as a local witchy store in a small, conservative town, you have to be heavy on the angels and Celtic crosses. But there was still a lot of cool things to snoop through. I loooove gift certificates. So the next day we left Eric behind (my mom is old enough to be his grandmother and he feels uncomfortable around her) and went to brave the retail world. Initially it was just going to be a run to the store to get some storage containers for the food (she keeps sending them home with us and we pitch them) and then to the witchy store to spend my gift certificate. I ended up getting a green man wall hanging, an incense burner with black and white lizards in a yin-yang shape with lovely green crackled glaze, and a bunch of votive candles that smelled yummy (patchouli and something else). Mom and I were talking and I mentioned that I'd been looking for a particular cat litter scoop and hadn't found the specific one I'd been looking for anywhere. She was sure she'd seen one at Target, so we decided to 'pop by'. I think we both knew we were stalling for time, because Eric wanted to go home as soon as we returned and for once I wasn't feeling as uncomfortable around her as I have been the last few years, and it was actually nice to hang with her.

So into Target, where we didn't find the scoop I was after but did find one that was similar. We also grabbed up some Christmas stuff that were on sale- we both like blue, so we were finding things for each other, which was fun. Then I decided I needed to run into the Hobby Lobby which was right near the Target to get some supplies for Bro's candle holder. At this point Eric called my cell wondering where we were- I told him we were on our way home. We stopped at a Sonic to get a bit of a snack though; Mom and I both love cherry lime-ade. Yum!

When we got home, Eric had gotten a current version of AIM on Mom's computer, downloaded his buddy list, and was talking to an old girlfriend of his. As soon as I saw this he quickly shut down the chat. I got really weird about it- I have been cheated on before (not by Eric), and I know this chick is an old friend of his who lives across the country but it managed to push a lot of my buttons and play on a lot of my insecurities. After I was finally able to articulate this in a way that wasn't too screechy and accusing, he explained that he knew I felt weird about it, and was trying to spare me the discomfort. When I explained to him how suspicious it looked and that I worked better on full disclosure, he understood and said in the future he would let me see any conversations he gets from her. This is exactly what I needed to hear, and I appreciated his willingness to work around this baggage of mine. *sigh*

We've spend the last couple of days just cleaning up a bit and taking it easy for the most part. I've been realizing how much of a worry wart I tend to be, and how much energy I spend in flinching anticipation of stress. I'm not sure what's made me more conscious of this lately, but it's a great opportunity to grow a little more accepting and relaxed.

One of my grove mates is getting hitched and she wants me to officiate! Yay! She is one of the most organized people in the world and is already trying to set dates, pick out the dress, the colors, and has the entire ceremony mostly written. He proposed to her like 3 days ago. She's coming over tonight and we're going to pore over astrological stuff to try and pick the best date for her. Her parents are a bit weirded out about me, since they are fairly straight-laced conservative (and somewhat critical) types, but hopefully she and/or I will be able to put their concerns to rest so they can get busy with being happy for their daughter.