![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
I'm making posts on Facebook every Monday that highlight mental health. Today I wrote this one:
Mental Health Monday! This week will be a two-fer. Part one: The Universe has served me up a big plate of You Need To Work On Your Shit Right The Fuck Now, and since I trust it (and it won't leave me alone until I do what needs doing) I'm going to listen to it and take some time off work and work on my shit. Spend some time on a meditation cushion, on a yoga mat, in the woods, in the water, in front of a therapist, in another town (no, not all at the same time). I recognize that I have immense privilege to be able to do this. In light of celebrity suicides, it's coming to surface that while telling people to get help and stuff is meant with good intention, people who're having a hard time are not always in a position to get help. Lend a hand. Be kind to everyone you meet. Check in with the ones who seem to be fading away... just like people who're drowning, they may not thrash around and make noise- they may just barely be able to hold their eyes above the water, quietly desperately searching for help. Be kind. Here's Brene Brown's list of things to avoid:
1. Being so overcome with sadness for your struggling friend that they have to comfort you. Don't try to give more than you have!
2. Giving sympathy (I feel sorry for you). Give empathy instead (I've been there).
3. Being disappointed that your strong friend is imperfect. Let people be complex, messy humans.
4. Looking for someone to blame- your friend, or someone in their life. Learn to be comfortable with their vulnerability without needing to go all Rambo on a scapegoat.
5. Making it all better- minimizing (it's not that bad!), deflecting (look at all the good stuff, what do you have to feel sad about?), shying away from the knowledge that people can make fucked-up decisions (you're perfect!).
6. One-upping in an attempt to connect (you think that's bad, this one time I...)
Forgive yourself when you catch yourself doing those things. Be kind. Be present. Put your face in front of their face, look into their eyes, and listen. Recognize where the shit they're going through is just like shit you've gone through, and convey to them that they're not alone in that dark, shitty, awful, lonely place. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Remember, babies, "God damn it, you've got to be kind.” - Kurt Vonnegut.
Mental Health Monday! This week will be a two-fer. Part one: The Universe has served me up a big plate of You Need To Work On Your Shit Right The Fuck Now, and since I trust it (and it won't leave me alone until I do what needs doing) I'm going to listen to it and take some time off work and work on my shit. Spend some time on a meditation cushion, on a yoga mat, in the woods, in the water, in front of a therapist, in another town (no, not all at the same time). I recognize that I have immense privilege to be able to do this. In light of celebrity suicides, it's coming to surface that while telling people to get help and stuff is meant with good intention, people who're having a hard time are not always in a position to get help. Lend a hand. Be kind to everyone you meet. Check in with the ones who seem to be fading away... just like people who're drowning, they may not thrash around and make noise- they may just barely be able to hold their eyes above the water, quietly desperately searching for help. Be kind. Here's Brene Brown's list of things to avoid:
1. Being so overcome with sadness for your struggling friend that they have to comfort you. Don't try to give more than you have!
2. Giving sympathy (I feel sorry for you). Give empathy instead (I've been there).
3. Being disappointed that your strong friend is imperfect. Let people be complex, messy humans.
4. Looking for someone to blame- your friend, or someone in their life. Learn to be comfortable with their vulnerability without needing to go all Rambo on a scapegoat.
5. Making it all better- minimizing (it's not that bad!), deflecting (look at all the good stuff, what do you have to feel sad about?), shying away from the knowledge that people can make fucked-up decisions (you're perfect!).
6. One-upping in an attempt to connect (you think that's bad, this one time I...)
Forgive yourself when you catch yourself doing those things. Be kind. Be present. Put your face in front of their face, look into their eyes, and listen. Recognize where the shit they're going through is just like shit you've gone through, and convey to them that they're not alone in that dark, shitty, awful, lonely place. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Remember, babies, "God damn it, you've got to be kind.” - Kurt Vonnegut.
