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Notwithstanding, I think just about any relationship problem could be fixed with one thing: communication. We had a big, stoopid fight yesterday because I'd asked Eric to get the air checked in my tires on my bike. He didn't do it. He thought I was just asking him to do this because it would be convenient for me. I was actually asking him to do it because it's too heavy for me to get on the center stand, and I thought he knew I wasn't able to do it. I didn't specifically mention it for that reason, and also because I'm somewhat embarrassed by that fact- it's hard for me to admit I can't do something, and since I figured he knew anyway, no point in rubbing my nose in it.
He, on the other hand, didn't do it because he did not feel comfortable riding the bike. It's a very tall bike and his proportions are such that his legs are a little shorter than mine. But by the time I got home, he'd told me that he didn't want to because it was raining, then he was cleaning the house, then Bob was visiting... it seemed that even though he said it would 'just take a second' that there was always something else he would rather do, so I thought he was just being lazy.
Stacy: The tires on my bike need to be aired up, but I can't get it on the center stand; could you do it for me?
Eric: I don't feel comfortable riding your bike, can I follow you to the gas station in my car and we'll both get it up?
Stacy: No problem.
But no, instead we got all pissy with each other. We worked it out, but it just drives the point home: don't assume you know what he's thinking, and don't assume he knows what you're thinking. Ask and tell. Jesus. I feel like a colossal idiot.
He, on the other hand, didn't do it because he did not feel comfortable riding the bike. It's a very tall bike and his proportions are such that his legs are a little shorter than mine. But by the time I got home, he'd told me that he didn't want to because it was raining, then he was cleaning the house, then Bob was visiting... it seemed that even though he said it would 'just take a second' that there was always something else he would rather do, so I thought he was just being lazy.
Stacy: The tires on my bike need to be aired up, but I can't get it on the center stand; could you do it for me?
Eric: I don't feel comfortable riding your bike, can I follow you to the gas station in my car and we'll both get it up?
Stacy: No problem.
But no, instead we got all pissy with each other. We worked it out, but it just drives the point home: don't assume you know what he's thinking, and don't assume he knows what you're thinking. Ask and tell. Jesus. I feel like a colossal idiot.
